-Fizzy-'s Life

2008-08-05T04:01:00.001+08:00

我想过一件事
不是坏的事
一直对自己坚持
爱情的意思
像风没有理由
轻轻吹着走
谁爱谁没有
所谓的对与错
不管时间
说着我们在一起有多坎坷
我不敢去证实
爱你两个字
不是对自己矜持
也不是讽刺
别人都在说我其实很无知
这样的感情被认定很放肆
我很不服
我还在想着那件事
如果你已经不能控制
每天想我一次
如果你因为我而诚实
如果你看我的电影
听我爱的cd
如果你能带我一起旅行
如果你决定跟随感觉
为爱勇敢一次
如果你说我们有彼此
如果你会开始相信
这般恋爱心情
如果你能给我如果的事
我只要你一件如果的事
我会奋不顾身地去爱你

2008-08-05T03:53:00.001+08:00

I've thought of something
not something bad
being stubborn
on what love really is
like the wind with no reasons
softly blowing along
there's no right or wrong on who's loving who
doesnt matter what time
says about us being together is wrong
i dont dare to prove it
loving you these two words
is not to comfort myself
nor an insult
actually everyone is saying i'm ignorant
this feeling is viewed as very irresponsible
i'm really not satisfied
i'm still thinking of that matter
if you are losing control
thinking of me everyday
if you're honest because of me
if you're watching my movies
listening to cds that i love
if you can take me on a vacation
if you've decided to follow your feelings
be brave for once for love
if you say we both have mutual feelings
if you can start to believe
this loving feeling
if you can give me an 'if'
i only want an 'if' from you
and i will love you unconditionally

2008-07-18T01:22:00.003+08:00

Life is like a rollar coaster...this phase is so true...guess wat i cried again...lolx i am like a little kid...everytime something happen i jus cry...i tried to smile i tried to stop thinking...but the more i try the more it back fire...ytd nite i couldnt slp at all...my mind keep thinking of u and the recent thing that is happening to me...I really cannot take the pressure anymore...at first i though that there was someone in my life that understand me...but i guess i was wrong...the words u said really hurt me...even the person i like also broke my heart...my heart was shattered to pieces by the few words u said in front of me...even todae i couldnt concentrate on anything...things that people are saying to me wasnt absorbed...people giving me advice i also couldnt get it in...i really didnt have the strenght to concentrate on anything...everything that happen to me wasnt even enough to compare with the damage done to me by your words...this was how important you are to me in my life...i can forgo everything even myself jus to make u happy...everytime i c u down i couldnt help but feel down too...this was how much an impact u have made in my life...i dun blame u...coz i know one thing...and that is...I love u with all my heart...

2008-07-06T05:23:00.002+08:00

jus reach home...during my journey home i lost control of my emotions again...tears once again rolled down my cheek...i couldnt stop thinking of u...i miss u so much so much...ur image keep flashing through my mind...can someone help me plz...i really dunno wat is happening to me...

2008-06-30T04:51:00.002+08:00

4.40am...been reading about you ever since jus now...dunno y...i couldnt stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks...at certain point of time...i really wish that i could be there for u...but it was jus impossible...in times to come i hope that i can be someone that u can rely on during good times and bad times...i dun wan to c u sad anymore...not even hear from anyone that u r sad...coz it really break my heart to know that u r sad...

few days back someone ask me this question "are u willing to giv up everything in order to succed in life?"...my reply was " I am only willing to giv up everything for the person i love"

Some will said that I am stupid...but i know everything is worth it...as long as it is for u...

2008-06-30T02:51:00.004+08:00

I cant control my feelings anymore...Tears dropped down my cheek...i really dunno what i want anymore...I keep telling myself to forget bout you...i keep telling myself bad things bout u...but in the end i still love you with all my heart...i really cant get over u...no matter how hard i try...my mind jus keep thinking of u...every morning i wake up the first thing or person i think of is u...even before i slp i think of u...every single min i spend without u is like torturing me...sometimes i really feel that i am veri naive...thinking that if i jus run away from this problem i will get over u soon...but i realise i was wrong...the more i try to run away the more i keep thinking of u...i really hope to jus jump out of my window at this very moment...i really cannot take it anymore...i keep telling ppl that u happy i will be happy...but it seems that i am very wrong...whenever i see u walking away from me i jus feel like shouting out loud to u and telling u how much i love u and how much i wanna be with u...but i know this is impossible...

at this very moment i guess everyone is asleep...think it is best that i keep this thing to myself ba...coz even i myself also dunno wat i wan anymore...

2008-06-29T03:17:00.002+08:00

1. How long have you waited for someone you love?
--6 years??

2. What do you want to do right now?
--Go find the person I love.

3. If there's a miracle, what will you long for?
--To be with the person I love.

4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?
--Never.

5. Where do you wish to die?

--Somewhere far away from the person I love.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
--Never.

7. What are the impossible things to do?
--Dunno.

8. Is there something you wished never happened?
--Me born in this world.

9. Are you happy with your life now?
--Nope.

10. What if your crush ask you out?
--Just go out lor.

11. What would you do when you feel bored?
--Play games.

12. What feeling do you hate most?
--Watching the person I love walking away.

13. If you will be separated from your love one (s) for a period of time, what will be some things you'd tell them?
--I miss them dearly.

14. What are you looking forward to this coming week?
--To be able to see her everyday.

2008-06-15T05:08:00.004+08:00

Recently my mood have been goin up and down again...dunno exactly wat is happening to me anymore...my world seem to revolve around u...so much that it seem to hav break through of my limit....i cant control my emotions anymore...at this point of time thinking of wat hav been happening make me feel veri sad...i am trying so hard but everything that i do jus seems to be wrong...i keep giving myself reason for things that have been happening here and there...i keep running away from my problem...but the more i try to run away the more it come bac to haunt me...the more i try to forget u the more ur image will appear in my mind...13th of june i dreamt of you...and that image of u have been in my mind ever since...since i was in secondary skool all i care about was jus myself...i myself was the pirority in myself...but u hav made a diff in me...u hav become the pirority in my life...i am willing to do anything to make u happy...do anything in order to keep u away from any dangers...in fact i am willing to risk my life in order to protect u...i know i will nvr be good enough for u...and i dun dare to ask anything from u too...but i jus hope that you will forever be happy...though i know that i will be sad but u being happy is all that ever matter to me...plz take care of urself...and watever happen i will always be there for u be it u notice it or not...i do not hope to c u cry...coz i know that if that day ever come...i will nvr be able to forgive myself...my only hope now is that u will nvr be sad ever again...be it the reason is me or not i jus wan to always c a real smile on ur face...coz this is the only thing that matter to me in my life...

2008-05-08T00:53:00.002+08:00

Stop thinking of her Derrick...she will nvr like you not to even think of being together with you...Derrick u r a loser in life...stop day dreaming and think of her...forget bout her...

She is so good...I know i will nvr be able to be together with her...but yet i jus cant stop thinking of her...todae i lost my phone...i wasnt sad that i lost my phone but i was sad that i lost the things inside my hp...the pictures...the messages...all the memories in it...i really miss the time when we were toking and chatting with each other...the time when u cheer me up when i was down...always there for me when i needed help the most and when i was at my lowest point...until now i keep holding on to the little glimpse of hope of being able to be together with u...though i know this is impossible...at this point of time all i hope for is tat u will be happy...nvr sad...and i will always be there for u when u nid me...be it 12am be it 3am jus a sms from u and i will definitly be there for u...

2008-04-28T00:29:00.002+08:00

1.What age do you wish to get married? *After 25
2.What do you want most now? *MONEY!!
3.Who is the person you trust most? *Gan-Mei and Buddies
4.Do you think you have enough confidence? *Not really
5.Any dreams? *Have a car before 20!!
6.Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain? *Not 100%
7.Do you believe in eternity love? *Definitly
8.What are you afraid to lose? *The person I love
9.If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? *Nope ( Sad case )
10.List out three good points of the person who tagged you. *Cute, Caring, Helpful
11.What are the requirements for my other half? *Understanding and Caring
12.Type of person you hate most *Backstabbers
13.Do you cherish every single one of your friends? *Who don't
14.Do you believe in god? *Nope
15.What do you think the most important thing in your life? *The person I like being happy!!
16.Do you find a need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? *Maybe maybe not
17.What kind of friends do you hope to be in their eyes? *Helpful
18.If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change? *Attitude
19.What is your wish for now? *Able to make the person I love the happiest person on earth!!
20.Do you believe in FATE? *NOPE!!

2008-04-17T09:29:00.000+08:00

MY FACI FOR BIOLOGY MODULE SUX!!

2008-04-12T02:40:00.003+08:00

So todae was very unlike any other days...early morning and trouble started for me...i didnt feel like goin to skool so decided to drag my time...but then my dad n mum was nagging and pulling me out of my bed...i jus didnt wan to go skool...skool sux for me...so i decided to jus take my bag and walk out of the house...so i decided to 'tour' around singapore... from sengkang took 88 then change 161 to woodland then after tat from woodland take 966 to eunos which is my workplace there...i feel more relax when i am at my workplace...but still my mood wasnt veri good...but i tried to hide everything from the ppl around me...at ard night time had a short chat with may kee..grats to may kee on ur result...jiayou...u can do it de...dun worry so much =)...anw left my workplace at ard 12...then 1+ reach home...now all i wanna do is jus to tired myself out totally and jus fall aslp like tat...but anw i am goin out now...so this is where my post shall end...till next time...if there is...

2008-03-25T01:56:00.002+08:00

So this post is for huifang LOLX...

So i told huifang the reason y i am in VE is coz of the following 3 points

1) Most obvious one and the most common one among all the VEs...and that is CAR...wanna come out with my dream cars ASAP so that I can drive my family out for breakfast lunch or dinner hahax...

2)Personal development...something that i can said that not all company can help in this area...In VE we learn alot of things...one of which is personal skills...even though i not in VE for veri long i can already c the difference in me...in terms of way i speak and handle things...most of the credit goes to 2 person who was there for me when i was at my lowest...

3)Is coz of the person i like...I hope that I will be able to achieve the above 2 points and be able to make a impression on the person i like...and alot more personal details LOLX...

2008-03-19T05:43:00.002+08:00

it is 5.43am now in the morning...couldnt slp well...reach home at around 1+ then online till 2+ then decided to get some slp so as to end my miserable day...but guess wat i jus couldnt get to slp...flipping around on my bed till now...then decided tat i should jus online and blog and do some other things...it has been long since i had such an experience...dunno y...jus cant get to slp no matter how hard i try...but well who care...i guess no one will care also...how i wish i can end everything now...including my life...life seems so miserable to me nowadays...things are goin the wrong way...nth is goin right...be it work be it personal life...i jus hope for one thing to go right and i will be happy le...my memories are all filled with sad things...hardly any happy things...dun wanna tok bout it liao...make me more sian nia...

2008-02-09T00:10:00.001+08:00

CAN SOMEBODY PLZ TEACH ME HOW TO CONTROL MY EMOTIONS PLZ...I AM TRYING SO HARD TO NOT THINK ABOUT THINGS...BUT THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY...MY EMOTIONS IS SERIOUSLY OUT OF CONTROL...I AM LOSING MYSELF...CAN SOMEBODY PLZ SAVE ME...HOW I WISH I WAS NVR HERE...THEN NTH WOULD HAVE STARTED...I HATE THIS CRUEL WORLD FOR GIVING US EMOTIONS...I HATE MYSELF FOR LETTING MY EMOTIONS TAKE OVER ME...I HATE EVERY SINGLE THING...

2008-02-01T23:07:00.000+08:00

Hahax..been veri veri long since i last blogged hahax...so though of blogging abit...so life has been pretty much the same...usual rountine school n home...but todae is the last day of skool...kinda gonna miss some of the ppl in my class hahax...the hunks and also the babes LOLX...anw todae finally receive the long awaited reply from chairman of my poly sci department...and i have receive the confirmation that i can apply for any O's sci for my poly entry requirement...so happy...which now mean that i am gonna apply for pure phy as my O's sci...to all my friend...plz help me hahax...pure phy got some chapt is i dunno de...mus help me ar...

so real life kinda fun...but my virtual life so kns lolx...WT main acc tio hack lolx..but after 2 days of thinking i finally though it through...acc tio hack then tio hack lor...can always start all over again de...start from 0 gold then earn back again...but anw i dun think i will have the time...my 10wks hols is here...mus go and find job and earn money to pay for my own O's...tat is my top pirorities...after that maybe will game at my free time...or maybe do a bit of reading up for my O's hehex...okie tat is all for now..will be back to blog soon hahax...

2007-12-25T04:45:00.001+08:00

4.45am now....for some reason i cant get to sleep...dunno wat is wrong....my xmas is so wrong...i should be sleeping well but well i cant get to sleep...fell aslp at ard 2.30 then woke up at 4.30 and couldnt get back to slp...anw to all WT mates...i guess i wont be goin bac to WT for a period of time...dun ask me y....coz i jus dun feel like goin bac...things in WT arent goin smoothly for me...i try to stay out of trouble but yet i get accused of something that i totally nvr do...and i nvr even had the though of doing it....argh fuck it i dun care la....suddenly all the things that happen in the past started flashing through my mind....be it happy be it sad...was hoping to find someone to chat to but i guess so late liao everyone also aslp le....better not disturb anyone...so i guess i will tok to my blog ba....

2007-12-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

So todae mark the start of the 3 week hols...kinda lookin forward to it but at the same time hope that it nvr come...been a long time since i last had a long rest and seriously i am lookin forward to this break...coz i seriously need a rest be it physically or mentally...i am so so tired...

So todae pon skool halfway...havent been able to figure out any of the problem statement recently...dunno wat is happening...perhaps i jus nid a rest badly that all...so me jing yu mei ying n yvonne went to watch Alvin And The Chipmunks at cwp...damn hilarious hahax...show ended around 3.45...and i went hope straight after tat...

On the way home, some things started to run through my mind. tis 3 weeks of hols mean that i wont be able to c her for the next 3 weeks...this feeling in me...is something that i dunno how to describe with words...her first impression to me was someone cheerful and recently sporty...hope that i might be able to c her during this hols...even a glimpse is enough to make me happy...i hope that i can get to know her more...which is impossible...haiz...dunno wat is happening now...jus hope that the hols will be over soon...

Aqua Timez - Sen No Yoru Wo Koete

Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai
Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte
Boku ga mitsukata kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte
Suki na hito ni wa sukitte tsutaerunda

Anata ga boku wo aishiteru ka aishitenai ka
Nante koto wa mou docchi demo ii n da
Donna ni negai nozomou ga
Kono sekai ni wa kaerareru mono ga takusan aru darou
Sou soshite boku ga anata wo aishiteru to iu jijitsu dake wa
Dare ni mo kaerareru shinjitsu dakara

Sen no yoru wo koete anata ni tsutaetai
Tsutaenaka naranai koto ga aru
Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai
Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte
Boku ga mitsukata kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte
Suki na hito ni wa sukitte tsutaeru n da
Kimochi wo kotoba ni suru no wa kowai yo demo
Suki na hito ni wa sukitte tsutaeru n da

Kono hiroi sekai de meguri au yorokobi wo kotoba jya ii arawasenai ne
Dakara bokutachi wa hohoemi
Iro azayaka ni sugiru aki wo doremi de utatte
Fuyu wo se ni haru no komorebi wo machi
Atarashiku umare kawaru dareka wo mamoreru youni to

Kita michi to yukisaki furikaereba itsudemo okubyou na me wo shite ita boku
Mukiaitai demo sunao ni narenai
Massugu ni aite wo aisenai hibi wo
Kurikaeshite wa hitoribocchi wo iyagatte
Ano hi no boku wa mukizu na mama de hito wo aisou to shite ita

Sen no yoru wo koete ima anata ni ai ni yukou
Tsutaenaka naranai koto ga aru
Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai
Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte
Boku ga mitsukata kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte
Suki na hito ni wa sukitte tsutaeru n da
Sono omoi ga kanawanakutatte suki na hito ni sukitte tsutaeru
Sore wa kono sekai de ichiban suteki na koto sa

2007-12-10T22:27:00.000+08:00

Okie after a long break from blogging i am back hahax...tiring day for fun...slept at 2am ytd then todae 6.30 wake up...like jelly hahax....usual routine all the way till i reach skool...was pissed off by the faci...and if that wasnt enough...during the break some stupid idiot tired to make me the bad guy...oh come on when u wanna frame someone by telling a incomplete story to another person at least wait for the someone to be out of the class...u think this is right u think tis is lame..oh come on dun make me laugh my freaking ass off....for a person who dun take like seriously u aint even fit to comment on my action less giv me a lecture...go home learn a few more yrs before coming to lecture me...oh ya and a word of advice for u...mind ur own business and keep out of other....dun try to act smart...

2007-11-07T01:31:00.001+08:00

Back to blogging hahax...so my O's is finally OVER hahax...mus said i still feel the pressure and stress this time round...jus like last yr...but there is a diff...i got nth else to worry about this yr...so intensive preparation got on the way 3 wk ago jus before my pract actually started...for the first time i am confident of passing something wahahax...think is my poly education ba...helped me alot..

anw it is 1am+ now hahax..jus ended playing wolf team...and i mus said i love the game hahax...met a few cool ppl in the game hahax...TF...RIP...TDP...which include Heizhu, Baizhu, stick, veron, tantsy, smilecy, lauzy and alot more hahax...

Currently i hav a packet of vanhouten as my companion hahax...browsing through blog...watchin tv...nth much goin on...guess i will be slping soon hahax...cya all will blog soon i hope hahax...

2007-10-22T00:48:00.001+08:00

Since i am free nowo gonna blog abit...currently watching the last race of this season of formula 1 hahax...currently ferrari is leading and this mean that Kimi might jus become this season champion hahax...okie anw life been pretty bad for me...not totally though...so i am quite glad...anw jus finish my O's practical...didnt go as good as i had wanted it to....but i think a pass for my pract should be no prob...

Jus before i forgot i mus thx a few ppl hahax...firstly would be Jin Hock...my shifu hahax...really helped me alot...despite him having his JC work to do, he still help me draft out possible pract question...some tips on wat to look out for....and also E36P giving me encouragement....not forgetting nigel too hahax...anw hope the other are well for their O's too...

That all for now...gonna get bac to the race hahax...cya all...

2007-10-16T08:34:00.001+08:00

Been one week since i last blog...from that point till now i guess nth has gone right for me...lots and lots of thing i have to faced alone and lots and lots of friends whom i hav disappointed...so sry everyone...i keep telling ppl not to mix their personal feeling with important work...but i guess i am the one doing so now...waking up everyday is like a nightmare to me...one day pass after another and it mean my O's is just round the corner...in fact the practical is just 2 days from todae...havent been in the mood to study this pass week...so i guess i am jus gonna fail the paper again...so dun wanna repeat this...jus wanna get it over and done with...i am feeling so stress now...i dun wan to crumble at this point of time...this period of time is just too important...really hope tat there is someone which i can fall back on...someone who can share my trouble with me everytime...but i dun wan to trouble people...so wat now...no idea...i dun get it...everytime i put in effort for something...it is like 100% for sure that the thing wont pull through...not once not twice but it has happen for like 3 times...i dun get it..y is heaven pulling this prank on me...why me of everyone i dun get it....i hate it...i jus wanna lead a normal life...not those full of downs...not a single up...i hate it man...ppl ard me are giving me pressure...'strangers' start to invade my personal life...wat is this all about man...can u guys jus get out and stay out of my life...i hate u all...I HATE U GUYS...

2007-10-09T22:00:00.000+08:00

Okie bac to update hahax...sry to keep everyone in suspense LOLX...anw life been pretty much the same...usual routine...almost everyday after skool then zhao liao...come home rest do work then night life hahax...but this few days everyday come home and fall flat on my bed hahax...jus super tired...no idea y...frequent headaches...hope not my migraine...anw todae startin to turn for the worse...parents reach home nia suddenly start scolding scolding...dunno scolding at wat also lolx...i didnt care much...didnt wan to anw...but it was rather annoying...oh man O's is like jus round the corner...and i have to go all the way to sgs jus to take that stupid practical argh...so angry...no direct bus there and i dun even know how to go there...maybe jus take a cab wahahax...been craving for ci**re**e recently lolx...censored...cant blame me hahax...maybe is due to the stress ba...anw this friday e36p suggested the class dinner LOLX...lookin forward to it..hope everyone in the class would go...then sat goin out...tat bout all for now ba hahax...

I MISS 'HER' ALOT ALOT ALOT...really hope to c her again soon...saw her like last week or 2 week ago hahax a glimpse but it was a special moment for me hahax...

to mk : dun worry too much bout ur result...u can do it one...no matter wat choice u make there will always be someone who will be there by ur side to support u...JIA YOU...

2007-09-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

Been long since i last posted...so might as well jus post a little bit of wat happening recently...well my hols jus ended...today is the 2nd day of the new sem...new class...ppl there are Fs...but not vulgar...hahax...the Fs are Fun...Friendly...and Funny...anyway i think the new sem is gonna be jus fine...finally change my blog song...well my blog is already 1 yr old...time to change to a diff song...

Gonna emo abit...well it is more than 3wks...since i last saw 'her'....and yup i admit i still think of 'her'...i really hate this side of me...i hate being alone...coz my imagination really will run wild...but i hate crowds...i dun like noise...i like peace and quiet...i dun hav the whole world as my friend...but i guess i dun nid so much as most of them arent true friends anyway...i am not veri good at words...i like to said watever i wan to said ...even though u all may not like it...and i guess u all wan friends who will only said good thing to u...too bad i aint that kind of ppl...i dun wanna change myself jus to satisfy friends who arent true friends at all...so wat if u dun like the way i do thing...it aint even ur biz...and the same thing apply the other way round...i guess only nigel will understand me hahax...

I really hope to change this side of me...i wanna be like the me in the past...forever happy go lucky...no troubles...always having a smile...but i guess it is jus impossible...ppl change whether or not we are happy with how we hav change...sad case i guess...jus hav to adapt to the new changes...and i guess i am...coz i feel tat i am getting more numb as each day goes by...i wanna become someone who doesnt have any feelings at all...no love no hatred...it hurt to love...i dunno y...it is suppose to be the best thing in the world...but i guess such thing jus aint working my way...but i guess i will just hav to be satisfied with the way things are now...hoping to c 'her' real soon...

The End

2007-09-02T00:55:00.000+08:00

okie been long since i last blogged hahax...anyway been a real busy week for me...though hols has started it seem like my hols is more busy than my study...hahax...anw dun go wanna into much details except for friday lolx...woke up at 9...then went to mit my sec skool friends to go bac to my sec skool...it is teacher day lolx...at first still though cannot enter lolx...but guess wat the stupid skool allowed us to enter the skool hahax...then the performance started lolx...it was nothing but boring lolx...me and my friends couldnt stand it so we went to sit at the canteen instead...then nigel came lolx...so we slack at canteen for like 30min then we went bac up again...chatted with the teachers till like 3 then me and winston left skool...waited for cab for a veri long time so long tat nigel who left skool later saw us still at the skool back gate waiting for cab lolx...then winston decided that he shall jus take 136 lolx...then me nigel lehan yx xw zy went to superbowl there to play pool...then lovell jasper gerald xiang bing and sabrina came to join us...play till like 6+ i guess then me nigel lovell sabrina jasper and gerald went over to lovell house to play mahjong lolx...played till 5am + then we played cards lolx...sabrina was half dead already lolx...but we refused to let her sleep coz she was the one who suggested to play mahjong in the first place lolx...ard 6.15 me and nigel went to eat breakfast...mac hahax...then he came over to my house and sleep lolx...as for sat i practically slept through the whole day lolx...watchin soccer now hahax...GO MAN UTD....

2007-08-16T22:14:00.001+08:00

Alright finally my birthday is here...after a long long wait hahax finally 17...anyway jus wanna said thx to everyone who made my birthday this yr another memorable one...So started the day well...saw her during both break-out wahahahx...best present this yr i guess...but still wishes unfulfill...guess it will remain tat way forever...anyway had pizza and cake for lunch...tao min treat wahahax...so good...thx faci...as i dun eat pizza i only had 1 piece...didnt wan faci effort to go to waste hahax...then there was also the special cake hahax...so nice of everyone...i could really feel the sincerity from everyone...anyway after school rush home as my parent was planning to brg me out for dinner...and so i rush home...but guess wat sickness set in on my birthday...how lucky can i get...sore throat and running nose...i think my nose can run faster than the olympic gold medal winner lolx...even as i am writing this entry now a packet of tissue is accompanying me...anw waited for the whole day for the 2 special person to wish me happy birthday but till now not even a sms...but still this birthday is a memorable one to me...thx to all the people once again...

2007-08-08T23:26:00.000+08:00

Havent been blogging lately so guess i will blog todae...havent been slping well these few days...super tired i would said...everytime i plan to slp early sure got thing will happen de damn sian...started since last friday...pon skool with the intention of goin out...but my class cat came over to my house with cheri lolx...so i went out at night instead...reach home bout 1+ then slack with nigel till 3am then sleep...then sat and sun i was playing games...so engross that i actually forgot bout the time...so slept at 2+...monday was the best...my lappy kanna virus...didnt know wat happen...all i remember was tat gary dl the hamachi into my lappy and that it BOOM goes my lappy...guess there is some virus in the hamachi...then ytd totally couldnt fall aslp didnt know y...todae was computing...omg so disastrous...luckily my friends helped me...if not i would be dead...anyway i went off during 2nd break...to meet nigel...went pool-ing...slack ard hougang mall...went to pierce my ear and went to kovan...nth much to do so boring hahax...waited for my parents to come and fetch me and went off for dinner at changi village...had chilli crab stingray n sotong...so damn yummy...thinking of it now still make me hungry hahax...but anyway life has been quite peaceful and quiet for me...and i mus said i actually like the way things are goin now...with all my friends around me...no more emotional breakdown...no more problems...but i know that my life would take a drastic turn soon...jus hoping for the best...next week my bd...guess my wish wont come true.................

2007-07-30T22:39:00.000+08:00

First post of the week...hahax...well todae was johnne birthday...so firstly Happy Birthday Johnne...todae was as usual for me...the usual routine...got a glimpse of her hahax...so happy...todae our class got an injured cat LOLX...

A simple glimpse of her is enough to brighten up my day...hope to c her everyday...

My birthday is coming soon...And i really hope that i will be able to celebrate it with 'her'...ya said me thick-skinned for all u wan i dun giv a damn...hahax....

2007-07-24T00:03:00.000+08:00

todae was quite a normal day for me...except for a few changes...lesson was great todae...on the way to skool benji jio me to pon skool...but hahax i was already in the bus...so might as well jus go to skool lor...actually wanted to pon de if only he had sms me earlier lolx...okie then reach skool ard 8.45...quite late for my usual timing...anyway looked through some pic my bro took in hk...i mus said the night life over there is so cool...with all the lights...and their underwater world is so damn cool...the mountains over there jus make the scenery even nicer...then lesson start...1st impression from the problem statement was omg todae is gonna be a boring day...but guess wat i was wrong...once again the day is save thx to our faci...hahax...todae 3rd meeting was simple...started at ard 2.20 then ended at 3.40...slacked till 4.30 then went to cwp with bing ren...took the bus home from there...slept in the bus as usual...then reach home game till dinner...then watch tv till jus now...very last thing i watched was the campus superstar result show...but that wasnt the important thing..the thing is wat was said when agnes lost..."it really is hard to smile or laugh when a person fail"...then i ponder abit on this statement and think bac...ya i mus said i totally agreed with that statement she made...anyway so many days nvr c her liao...then todae finally got a glimpse of her wahahahx...so super damn freaking happy...THE END LOLX....

2007-07-19T11:27:00.001+08:00

Jus great...todae started out funny...begining to become Sucky...Hope it turn out fine...

To all those unsupportive ppl...dun make a mountain out of nth...coz IF u all even notice other ppl started first...did u all even bother to defend our class...let me ans it for u all...nvr will u all do so...stop saiding who is at fault...coz u all r in NO position to said so...from wat i observe other people are helping each other and u all dun even bother defending us...if u all wanna clarify thing go clarify it with ur fucking self...dun come clarifying thing with me...i dun wanna tok to asses...get it right and get it into ur heads...

2007-07-18T23:03:00.001+08:00

todae was a short day for me hahax...went to school this morning...almost late but lucky wasnt...1st breakout went touring ard woodland with bing ren lolx...then went to cwp to buy mac for breakfast...then slack through 2nd breakout...didnt really chiong work...coz i was planning to go at meeting 2 anyway...so meeting 2 went home...super tired...reach home awhile on my lappy and fell aslp...all the way till 6+ then i woke up...game-ed till now...during 2nd breakout i was still telling myself i havent saw her for the pass 2 days...but jus when i goin home i saw her lolx...anyway good day for me la can get a glimpse of her...

2007-07-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

Okie gonna have a short entry...usual start...woke up go skool and had UT...then after skool i had a free ride home by my faci hahax...then as soon as i reach home i receive a sms from nigel my good budd...wanted to meet up for pool...so since i was free i went to meet him...then we had a few rounds of pool...then after that we went to HM kfc...chatted over there while he had his dinner...then mx came to join us...chat chat chat then went home...tat bout all...

To Nigel: Hey dun bother to explain anything...no point la...u know u nvr do then can liao...the truth is for us to know and for other to choose to believe or not...no point explaining so much...if other choose to believe him then too bad for them...and if he really wanna act blur then buy him some sotong la..hahax

2007-07-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

okie an early entry todae...wanted to blog before midnite hahax...reason is because todae is the start of my 1mnth countdown to my birthday hahax...and ppl have been asking me wat the 1mnth is all about lolx...no gf la hahax...okie anyway this few days quite peaceful actually...which is a good thing hahax...Sat spend the whole nite alone at home....my family went to the airport to fetch my bro home...and i so like the feeling of being alone at home...especially when it is at nite hahax...so they reach home at 2+ 3...and guess wat my bro got me...a ferrari jacket and a ferrari shirt...but i dun think i will ever get to wear them...or rather i think i wont dare to wear them lolx...coz it is all red...then sunday woke up at ard 9...watch tv all the way till 4.30 then went out for my dinner with my family...had crabs yum yum...the meal is 199bucks lolx...then came home and continue to watch tv...whole day of tv gave me a headache...lucky my migraine didnt act up or i will be so dead...then todae monday...nth much happening...the usual routine...hope the usual routinue will go on and on and on...left skool rite after class end...didnt wanna stay in skool...anyway at home also got things to do...okie end of todae...tmr there is UT hope i dun fail it...coz i heard from my faci that the UT will be a killer...hope i do the killing and not the one being killed...lolx...okie tat all cya everyone....

2007-07-16T12:29:00.000+08:00

OH YESH 1 MORE MONTH TO GO...

2007-07-12T23:05:00.001+08:00

eventful day for me todae...started the day quite fine...told the same bus as glenda...and thx god no jam todae...reach skool ard 8.30...got UT...as usual cant upload lolx...then 1st breakout when to eat with glenda's classmate...and as usual i was frozen to death by yue ting's lameness...then after skool i injure my hand...sian 1/2...cant use my right hand to support myself...argh...then walk to cwp with yue ting and kelly another of glenda's classmate...then ate my dinner at home and went to find glenda to chat...sudden mood swing i think...suddenly veri veri down...so after me BS-ing everything out i feel better hahax...guess tat all...tml is communication...class will be held in library...gonna freeze to death lolx...lazy brg sweater ar...hope my hand recover by tml...if not so inconvience sia...cant use my right hand when i am a right hander...lolx...okie tat all..

2007-07-11T22:25:00.000+08:00

okie todae is gonna be a early entry...bad start for me todae...left home at 7 as usual...normally i reach school at 8.15...but guess wat reach school at 9.15 todae...freaking hell jam from even before expressway till yishun...was so freaking pissed off on the bus...want to sleep also cannot...stupid bus move stop move stop...argh...lucky glenda same bus...can crap around with her hahax...then reach skool stupid vpn giv me problem...vpn= very problematic network...no wonder...after tat i c the worksheet nia i fainted...dunno y but jus cant think of anything argh...then went cwp with bingren to buy breakfast...wanted to giv myself a good meal so i ate mac hehex...shouldnt be doing this...so waste of money...but nvm la long time once shld be okie hehex...then after tat went bac RP do 1 question nia then sian liao dun feel like continuing...so during 2nd break i slept in class hahax...then woke up ard 1.30 to start doing the presentation....i guess a rest was wat i need...after i woke up could do some of the work...then presentation was good thx to the explanation i got from bing ren hahax...then after skool went far east with glenda and yue ting...had a berg-e-licious experience with them lolx...then came home with my dinner mac again hahax...cannot spend too much money..mus save money ar...okie tat all for todae hehex...c tml got anything then blog hehex.....

2007-07-10T08:40:00.001+08:00

Dunno y suddenly jus felt like blogging...a sudden burst of happiness...hahax dunno y also lolx...feel like something good will happen todae...but still at the start of the day so i am super lookin forward to the rest of my day...now is 8.42am...dun wanna end my entry yet hehex...so i guess i will jus leave my blogger on hahax...be back ltr...

okie bac...12.25 now...watchin 300 in my class...nice movie...hehex...and guess wat good thing really happen when i am happy hahax...saw her jus now...even though a few glimpse but still super happy...hahax....happy + happy = Super happy...wahahax...I LOVE 'Her'...oh yes i do...for those who wanna know who she is...wait another 1000 yr hahax...Cant be more happy with the current situation...dun wan anymore 'additional' attention hahax...And i just realise she is a left-hander hahax...okie i think tat is all that is gonna happen todae...anything else tonite then update wahahax....

2007-07-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

Okie here to update again...wed nite...was having art lesson in class hahax...was cursing faci at the same time lolx...then draw until happy happy then security come destroy our fun hahax....so no choice had to 'evacuate' the building...then walk to cwp with amanda yingz yuanshan eileen n yvonne...actually wanted to join them for dinner...but on the way to cwp my head started to hurt alot...and as i knew that i had migraine i didnt wanna take any chance...so i went home instead of joining them for dinner...but guess wat...on the way home my head was hurting so much that i decided that i need a doct lolx...so yup confirm migraine...then doct said wat jab thingy...but didnt hear properly as i couldnt analyze watever sh1t he said...all i could hear is my own breathing...then after tat went home slept all the way till next time 10....and yes i didnt went to skool tat day...so i woke up awhile came online c whoever was online...then i fell aslp with my lappy on...tat was how 'eventful' my thur was...then friday...which is todae...boring day...totally nvr c 'her' at all...and i mean at all...so sad a day for me...keep thinking of 'her'...argh...dun wan to tok too much bout sad thing...coz make me more sad...gonna end here..tmr shld be a better day for me...will be meeting my game friends for full 2 hrs of non-stop gaming...so it shld be able to cheer me up...

2007-07-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

Life is so cruel...y do ppl have emotion...y mus life hav up n down...y do human hav the ability to think...y do i hav so many y in my life...Izzit jus me thinking too much or worrying too much??ARGHHHH MY LIFE SUX TO THE CORE...i really hate myself...i jus wanna end my life but yet not hav the courage to do so...i am veri cranky todae...dunno y...heard of the news that she pon skool halfway...sad...was still quite keen in attending lesson todae...but after i heard she no longer in skool my mood totally went down...totally wasnt interested in doing anything...even playing game also no mood...wanted to vent my frustration in cs by killing and killing but i only ended up being killed...so i decided no killing coz it only make me feel more useless...ya i agree i am useless...academic cant make it...gaming cant make it...and the worse thing is i cant even make it in life...how useless can a person get...really veri frustrated in class todae..esp when ppl start to try and prove something when he cant and giv speeches...and guess wat...that wasnt the end...when i came home i realise that my parent had actually went through my personal belongings...i mean wat the fuck is wrong...even my parent wanna intrude my privacy...i seriously hate it when ppl intrude my privacy...and to think they were my parent...argh can life hav more ups than downs??I MISS 'Her'...

2007-06-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

okie...blogging again...got a glimpse of her todae...mood is improving bit by bit each day...been feeling rather cranky lately...so plz dun try n get on my nerves...coz i nvr know wat i would do...standing at the edge of insanity...but anyway sry to everyone which i hav acidentally irritated lately...kor called me ytd at ard 1+ 2...but didnt chat much...coz i was simply too drained out to even open my mouth...argh i really dunno wat is goin through my mind now...too confused...too drain out...too stupid i guess...dunno wat to said anymore...

2007-06-25T00:08:00.000+08:00

okie time to blog again...quite drained out for the pass few days...my mood now is still the same...quite moody quite sad...keep thinking of her...really dunno wat wrong with me...i though i was gonna be able to put through anything tat come my way....but guess i was wrong...look like i havent change a bit since sec 3...haiz...also dunno wat is rite n wat is wrong now...cant think...2 more months and it is my O's...but i am really not in the mood to study...jus like last yr...everytime something major is coming things always go wrong...argh...i jus wanna forget bout everything and jus do thing tat i like...been gaming for the whole day...at least it is a good method of keeping myself occupied...but thing is whenever i take a break which is like 5min only my imagination will start running wild...i will keep thinking of her...guess weekend r like tat...tmr is the start of a new week...hope things will turn out better...

I MISS 'her'...

2007-06-22T09:29:00.000+08:00

jus wanna update abit about ytd since i wasnt in the mood...took taxi home with glenda and i alight at her place and walk home from there to rivervale plaza...was super tired...and i was sweating like hell...but it was good at least something occupied me...when i reach home it was like 11.30 went to bath and play game for awhile...slept at 12.30...then my kor called me at around 1.30 as i had sms him during ytd afternoon...then he ask if i was okie as i was feeling moody ytd...but anyway i had a good chat with him till 2.30...almost cried during the conversation....but i didnt...was feeling really sad ytd...but guess todae should be a better day for me...at least i hope so...

2007-06-21T23:57:00.000+08:00

Wish 'her' a speedy recovery...Mus take care of ur health...

When i know that 'her' was sick, I almost felt like crying...and i am not afraid to said so...

2007-06-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

okie gonna blog again since something has happen...been about 3 weeks has pass since my enterprise UT has pass...and i mus said i really hav high hope...at least a C for me...but guess wat i got a freaking D...damn disappointed...my enterprise faci is the best faci i hav...and i mus said i really dun wan to disappoint her...reach home ard 8+...first thing i did was to check leo for any update in result...and i saw the stupid D...first reaction was to sms my result to my enterprise faci...so damn sad sia...but i promise from now on i will work hard...i swear...then todae in class...not my normal self...something seem to be missing but jus couldnt figure out wat...only after 1st breakout then i realise wat was missing...well dunno y i even felt tat something or someone was even missing in the first place...but anyway hope tat nth is wrong with something or someone...in a few days time i think i will receive bac math n computing UT result...i guess that would be another module that i will fail...even without receiving bac my result i know that i will get an F...argh jus dun get it...faci treat me well but i jus cant do well damn it...watever man life sux...trying to look at life at a more positive view...but things that are happening around me now make my mind set more negative...

2007-06-19T00:02:00.000+08:00

todae went to meet a friend of mine...guess wat she got a bf hahax...then they were like so lovely...i c liao super envy hahax...then after tat my friend's bf had to go first so left me and her...then i tease her said she n the bf so lovely make me jealous...

HQ:hahax dun laugh at me know u got gf too rite...brg let me c leh...
Fizzy:hahax no lor i where will hav gf...
HQ:sure anot dun lie to me hahax...
Fizzy:lolx if lie to u got money i dun mind hahax...
HQ:then got anyone u like?
Fizzy:Ermmm
HQ:hahax got said la...
Fizzy:hahax got la got la happy....hahax
HQ:then go jio la...
Fizzy:diaoz u think so easy meh hahax...wan jio then jio lolx...ppl also attached liao...
HQ:lolx u ar still the same...
Fizzy:lolx i mean seriously lor even if not attached i also wont jio one la lolx...
HQ:y leh...scared ar???hum ji ar u hahax...
Fizzy:Diaoz watever la...
HQ:then u not sad meh ppl got bf...
Fizzy: ............

So when i was on the way home i though about the question my friend posted to me...u not sad meh tat she got bf...i mean sad also is bo bian...wat can i do...at least she is happy...her bf treat her well...another point also came to my mind...liking someone doesnt mean mus stead with that person ma...if she happy i c liao also will happy ma...but said is said la hahax....if really c her and the bf together how would i react??i dun wanna know...and to said the truth i also wont be good enough for her...but 1 thing i know for sure...if i can c her smiling everyday, that would be the happiest thing for me...

And this entry nvr had a ending...

2007-06-18T01:51:00.000+08:00

1:48am
Mum:Erhm...wat time liao ar still dun slp...
Fizzy:Aiya still early la ...
Mum:Tmr no skool izzit?
Fizzy:Got ar...but nvm la the most slp in class lor...
Mum:Better slp early ar...
Fizzy:Ok ok...

hahax...yup it is 1am+ goin 2am...but still havent slp yet...feel so refresh lolx...actaully shld hav slept long ago but due to some reason i havent slp hahax...but anyway shld hav no prob staying awake in skool tmr hahax...okie todae is father day...not really a veri good day...planned to go sakura at SAFRA tampines in the morning and it was confirm...then ard 6 nobody had reached home yet...my mum n 2 bros went out...and nobody reach home at 6...so my dad was like super angry...then at ard 6.2o my bros came bac with the car...so this was the beginning of the trip lolx...went to Gaint to fetch my mum n aunt...went straight down to Sakura after tat...and guess wat...saw jiajia over there hahax...wat a concidence...she was so shocked when she saw me lolx...anyway my dinner was not bad...went round eating almost every food available at Sakura except for the sushi lolx...anyway after that came home straight and i have been sitting in front of my lappy ever since...hahax...will be bac to update more often...

2007-06-17T02:05:00.000+08:00

okie gonna blog again haahx...friday morning woke up like 8...no choice had to go to sengkang polyclinic for my blood test...okie not a veri good morning for me...i bus-ed to compass point and was planning to walk from there to the polyclinic...and damn it jus before i reach the interchange it was still dry...but when i exited from another exit it was raining freaking heavily...and there was no shelther to the polyclinic from compass point...no choice had to wait for the rain to stop...normally i would hav jus dash across the road lolx...BUT i was holding some documents and my hp was with me and i was using my earpiece...so no choice...then after being stucked for like 10-15min...it wasnt raining so heavily so i guess jus heck care and jus run...and i did hahax...i was drench when i reach the polyclinic...i mus said the nurse is good...considering the fact that i am afraid of needles and i didnt even feel the needle being poke into me hahax...then went home after tat...gamed all the till 8pm when my dinner came home hahax...BK yum yum so nice...then after dinner gamed AGAIN lolx...finally went to slp at 4am...todae woke up at 2pm...hahax...was super tired...todae was a tiring day...i gav a corner of my room a little make over...now my lappy has it own personal fan hahax...then specially stayed up till now to watch formula 1....omg the race is 2am on monday...and i got school on monday lolx...i am so freaking gonna fall aslp hahax...anyway tat all gonna get bac to game hahax...and chatting with my brothers hahax...

2007-06-13T23:37:00.000+08:00

okie gonna update again...todae morning i was suppose to go to nchs to c my brother play his first bball match for his current skool but woke up late so didnt go...so dissappointed that i couldnt c him play...anyway i will go c him play in his next match...i promise...but i dun get it....i slept at 1.30 ytd...but still couldnt wake up and i actually woke up only at 1.30...i set 3 alarms...1st at 6.15 2nd at 6.30 3rd at 10.30...none woke me up lolx...anyway my mood todae is better...been gaming the whole day guess tat y i feel so much better...was suppose to go for my blood test todae but went for it as i woke up late...think i gonna go for my blood test only on friday hahx...but i think i hav something on friday but jus cant remember wat it is hahax...anyway i am so broke....to the extent that i cant even afford my own lunch...so i had no choice but to eat bread for my lunch hahax....then my dinner was better....my dad n mum bought bac food...hahahx...supper was the best...waffles with chocolate ice cream...yummy yummy...tmr i will be alone at nite...and i hav to settle my own dinner...but i told my mum to buy bac for me but she said she will be bac late...real late...but who care...when u hav no money u jus hav to settle for anything hahax...as for lunch i hav my bread hahax...tat would be more than enough...so miss skool...hols is so long damn it...i hope tat hols will end soon...i miss my skool mate...i miss bitchin ard with them...and of cuz WISE-ing hahax...tat is our secret code...better and more secretive than morse code muahahax...anyway i hope to go bac to skool soon...only than i will hav money hahax...

2007-06-12T22:29:00.000+08:00

okie slept at 5am in the morning...so i was veri tired...woke up at 8.30 to giv my first morning call then slept again and finally woke up at 11.15 when i saw eileen's sms to mit at 11.30 at woodland for lunch...lolx and i stay in sengkang hahax...anyway i went to meet them straight after i woke up and bath...reach at ard 12.15 hahax...and i wasnt the latest...anyway went to RP and went for the discovery trip...damn boring...i slept while on the way to discovery centre then after tat watch the movie fighter plane before leaving discovery centre...then after tat train-ed down to tampines...ate and slack abit at century square...after which me johnne ying2 eileen yvonne went to ikea...actually amanda was joining us but she didnt in the end...then walk ard ikea and went to giant after tat...shopping jus aint my kind of thing hahax...tmr hav to wake up early dunno can wake up or not...anyone can morning call me??ard 7 hahax...but anyway damn frustrated now...having my mood swings again...com'on can anyone cheer me up plz..and cure me of my regular mood swing...coz it is seriously ruining my life...feeling so down now...

2007-06-07T05:07:00.001+08:00

Okie it is like 5am in the morning...currently i am at a chalet...not much goin on...everyone is slping...left me alone...peace n quiet i think...was studying for my bio ytd....but gave up on it jus hrs after i started...reason is simple...i really aint suited for bio....i jus dun get it why....no matter how hard i try i jus feel like giving it up totally...anyway i retaking my O's at the end of the yr sian 1/2...dun tell me i gonna fail it once again...fate is so cruel to me...anyway fate is cruel to everyone not jus me...so i guess i shouldnt complain so much....currently i am lookin for someone who i can chat heart to heart with but well everyone is aslp....anyway woke up at 1pm todae...then went to cut my hair...so freaky short...but at least it is better than my hair dangling in mid air hahax...then i pack my shirt all tat for my chalet....after tat rush to somerset...met my god bro for lunch hahax...then slack abit and took train to pasir ris...waited for quite sometime before the others book in into the chalet...then waited for amanda and ben to come then we went BK for our dinner...maybe is counted as supper...as we had it at ard 10pm+...anyway after tat we went to get some alcohol...but i finish mine in like 3 mouth...and i was actually hoping to get myself drunk....how naive can i be...really in a confused mood now...everything isnt goin rite....well things are like nvr goin rite for me....jus dunno y...anyway my face finally doesnt hurt...yea call me a weakling if u wan i dun care...watchin someone get whack and not being able to do anything...feel so useless...damn it...i dun wanna be protected....i wanna protect...

To kor...ya maybe wat u said does make sense...goin to help is wat i claimed...but does it really is helping...for my case...ya maybe u r rite i am not helping at all...jus a burden to everyone there...but u know me...my personalities...nvr gonna let ppl around me get hurt...no way...

at this point of time i really wanna shout out everything in my heart...i feel so locked up...i smile smile smile but am i smiling??i dunno...i dun wanna know...and i dun hav the wish to know...guess i will nvr be able to find out...but i guess no one ard me will care bout how i feel too...sometime when i dun wanna do something is not becoz i find it troublesome but jus tat i am afraid i would mess thing up...whenever i try to help solve something i would only end up making it worse...wtf is wrong with me man...i jus dunno...anyway i dun wanna care so much...it is now jus a step at a time for me...jus walking ard blindly...not knowing wat is goin to happen next....haiz...think so much also make me more sian...might as well dun think lor rite...ya tat rite...

I WILL MAKE IT...I MUS MAKE IT...CANT AFFORD TO DISAPPOINT EVERYONE...NO I WONT...

2007-06-04T00:29:00.000+08:00

been long since i last blog...not really in the mood to blog so guess it will be a sloppy entry...okie not really in the best of mood...my face hurt F*** it...was still fine ytd until i woke up todae...super bored now...wanna look for someone to chat with...but it is like 12.30am who in the right mind would wanna entertain me...guess i would jus keep the boring-ness to myself...anyway todae started off badly...was slping halfway when my hp started ringing away...3 times within a few hrs...and i actually slept at 3am+...so i was quite grouchy...spent the nite at my god bro place so when i woke up i rested awhile and went home...then after i reach home i SLEPT again...so damn tired...then when i woke up i went out for dinner with my family and my tution teacher...then came home watch motoGP then slack abit come online blog then tat would be the end of my day...BORING...the boring-ness in me is killing me...

2007-05-18T09:53:00.000+08:00

Okie due to overwhelming demand (cough cough) i am blogging once again. Okie todae is enterprise for me...but it suck coz i same team with that f***er...sian half...dun feel like doing anything sia...also so tired hahax...not enough slp...well life isnt goin the way i wanted it to be hahax...as usual...always down no up...so sucky hahax...okie when i am posting this post i am abit crazy so dun mind my language lolx...anyway i think my class has got a class song...okie so todae there will be a surprise party hahax tat is so gonna be fun sia...hope nth goes wrong...la la la...gonna faint liao ar team with him...I WANNA HAV A CHANGE OF TEAM...LOLX...okie tat bout all if i continue i am so gonna whack my lappy upside down...hahax...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FEL...

2007-04-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

Okie been long since i last blogged...so i though i jus blog abit now...hmm my first entry on my laptop...hahax...okie anyway todae i went to collect my O's cert...hahax i had totally no idea that my O's cert was out until maykee sms me bout it thx lots hahax...hmm think this friday will go bac SSS again...but that is this friday thing hahax...for now i gotta worry bout wat is goin to happen tmr hahax...my orientation first day is tmr...not really mentally prepare for wat might happen tmr hahax...anyway jus now my kor sms me said got something that he mus tell me face to face...wonder was is so impt...hahax...but anyway i can be counted officially a republician ba hahax...lucky to be in a poly hahax...new life new challenges...gotta cope with my poly thingy and still hav to retake my O's sci sian half...hope i am able to cope with everything tat will happen to me...okie tat bout all...

2007-02-07T20:05:00.000+08:00

Been long since i last blog...Only got 1 word to describe how life hav been for me...disastrous...things arent goin so smooth for me...been feeling quite moody lately...no mood to do anything...maybe tat is becoz i got nth to do anyway...not wrkin anymore...been staying home lately and seldom go out...hoping for a change of luck in the coming cny...so many things are happening n not one is good thing...firstly i am out of job and if things wasnt bad enough i fell sick shortly...been almost one week since i got sick...friday the 9th of jan...it all come down to this day everyone said...they keep asking me am i scared...honestly speaking the answer is no...not becoz i am confident but becoz i hav already given up all hope of being able to do well in my O's...i miss my colleague at wild wild wet...but the one i miss most is you...been so long so long since i last saw u...how school gurl...heard u started smoking recently...jus an advice it aint good for ur health...mus take care ar...if it is becoz something is troubling u then think again...there is always lots of way to overcome a problem...guess i am in no position to said u for i myself though having asthma also started smoking...well....thx to those who hav express their concerns...but no worries nth will happen to me...anyway gratz kenny for finding a job...guess tat all...lastly good luck to all getting their O's result...

2007-01-01T06:16:00.000+08:00

6am liao hahax...ppl mus be thinking i jus woke up rite...but wrong hahax...i jus reached home...went countdown with my friends...actually we planned to go clubbing but 16 only so cannot sian...met at downtown east first then after tat went to orchard hahax...from there we walk all the way to esplanade...after slackin awhile over there we decided to go to plaza singapure...and again we walk lolx...after slackin awhile at ps we decided to go home...but a call came...one of our friends couldnt get a cab so they call us to go down there to fetch them lolx...then when we reach where our friends was i saw my da jie sleeping like a dead log along the road side lolx...then after tat we took a tour ard singapore lolx fun sia...then i was the last to alight...and the taxi fare was 30 over bucks waaa scary ar...then now finally hope after a walk-a-ton n a tour ard singapore...but anyway todae i veri guai...only drink one can of calsberg...hahax...but anyway gotta get some slp...damn tired...but lastly HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my friends... =)

2006-12-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

Finally bloggin again hahax...hmm had a bbq at my hse...was damn fun...although i didnt invite any of my friends over there was still alot of ppl...my neighbours n bro's friends...it was fun...they open 2 table of mahjong...then ps2 computers n lastly cards...it was whole lots of fun...

As for todae...haiz most disastrous Xmas ever...first time working on Xmas n all this had to happen...todae i had to work...and if it wasnt bad enough...was sent to water works close...and alot of things cropped up...firstly a grp of idiots wanted to act hero...didnt listen to my advice and jump into the slide head first...they were lucky they didnt break their head...then after tat got 1 gurl got stuck in the slide...waited for more than 3min and still she didnt come out...i whistle to the lifeguard below but didnt got a reply...and when i finally got his attention he couldnt understand me...finally when i finally got him to understand wat i was trying to said the gurl had already come out...then less than 5min ltr had another accident...1 gurl got herself stuck inside the ride and the signal light was off...and i though she was out...but seem tat i was wrong...but coz i was unsure i decided to sent a 2nd person in...and i heard funny noises inside...i look below and 2 person came out at the same time...lucky the duty supt wasnt there if not i was so dead...with all the mistake wat i didnt wanted was more mistakes...and suay enough more came...wasnt able to concentrate todae...alot of time when ppl already came out i didnt saw them and kept lookin at the monitor waiting for them to come out...waaaa real slack todae...hope tmr will be better...

Spent my Xmas without her...real sad...hoping for a better tmr...where i can c u...

2006-12-15T23:19:00.000+08:00

I AM FEELING SO CONFUSE NOW...
CAN SOMEONE BE MY LISTENING EAR PLZ...

2006-12-13T04:48:00.000+08:00

hmm it is 4 almost 5 now in the morning...slept for bout 4hrs...feeling awake...but this time didnt woke up thinking of her...jus used to sleeping for short hrs...hmm goin to play some games first...hoping to get out of my hse todae and go play hehex...wondering who is free lolx...mus pool...too long nvr pool liao ltr dunno how to play hahax...

2006-12-13T01:06:00.000+08:00

Almost 1 in the morning now...hmm nth much goin on in my social life hahax...well i started work last wednesday...hahax i damn like my job...all the ppl there r so easy to get along with...started the first day of job feeling down...but anyway during the first day already had a fun time le...started the day dry but end the day wet...hahax todae also...kind of like a daily routine for me LOLX...everyday i go to work i am sure to laugh...impossible not to laugh n hav fun with my colleague...then they taught me alot too...whenever i hav doubts they r always there to help me...glad to hav such ppl as my colleagues...

Anyway bac to my social life...hmm i am veri determine now to get her off my mind...i cant let her revolve ard my life everytime...i mus stay strong...i mus get bac on my feet...nvr will i be unhappy about her anymore...as for 'You' i seriously dunno wat to said...guess i would jus let nature take it course...not gonna put in effort to mend the friendship anymore...if 'You' wanna mend the friendship then i would accept...but not gonna giv in anymore...i am so sick n tired of giving in everytime...i dun wanna giv my everything n get nth in return...this kind of feeling sux...dun like it...but anyway i am quite happy with my life already...dun wan anything more to happy...i wan life to be as peaceful as it is now...

2006-12-06T01:51:00.000+08:00

It is almost 2 in the morning now...cant get to slp so decided to blog...anyway still kinda feeling down todae...then abit sick...headache running noes n mild cough...haiz sian...anyway i went out with wen rui with the intention of buying something at ps...but nvr did...saw winston there working...then we went to hav our dinner...after tat went pool-ing at ssc...then play till 10 and went to mit winston for his dinner n my supper...after tat went to arcade and play for awhile...

Although i am still feeling veri sad i hav learnt tat if she is happy i should be happy for her...I am trying to stay strong but it seem to be the hardiest thing to do now...nvr will i cry again...mus not be so emotional anymore...

>Heart broken<

>Thank 'You'<

2006-12-05T18:17:00.000+08:00

hmm...tmr starting work...sian...kinda not in the mood to do anything now...then still havda work and put on a smile at all time...zzz...hate this...haiz hoping 'You' to giv me encouragment now...really breaking down le...

>Heart Broken<

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-28T05:16:00.000+08:00

Had a sleepless nite...veri sian...cant get both of them of my mind...still thinking...haiz...dunno wat to said...haiz...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-28T03:09:00.000+08:00

Hmm cant remember clearly when i last blog...been veri buzi with goin out...

Anyway todae i went for a job interview..hope i get the job sia...but then again ytd was veri reluctant to go for the interview...but anyway i still did...hmm the pay is bout 5-5.50 per hr...wasnt expecting so much...but anyway i am taking this job jus so tat my mind is kept occupied...but anyway after the interview slacked awhile at downtown...then went to hougang plaza pool again...but play bout 2 hr then went down to ps ssc mit jialong they all...argh 2 str8 loss to jialong n guo feng lolx...mus hav my revenge some day...anyway after tat went bac home...chat with a few of my kor friends hahax...guess tat is all...mus slp early tmr morning still got go out...

Really miss her alot...hoping to mend the friendship between me n 'You' haiz...at this veri moment i am hoping for 2 things only...is it really too much?y is it that things nvr ever go my way...i jus dunno y...but hoping to know her more and also to mend the friendship...this 2 things r like my everything to me...nth more do i ask for...

>Thank 'You'<

>Miss Her<

2006-11-20T18:23:00.000+08:00

OH YEAAAAA...o lvl finally over le...but kinda sad in a way...haiz...but anyway gonna tok bout the happy part hahax...happiness always come first...todae was my comb sci p1 my final paper...and glad tat this is over...jus recover from my sickness but still feeling kinda tired and get out of breath easily...nowfor the sad part...sob sob...no more schooling mean i can no longer get to see her le...haiz...hope i can get over this feeling soon...but anyway bac to wat happen todae...only thing i remember doing is sleeping all the way till now since i came home...hahax...was really veri tired...only slept for 2 hrs ytd nite...so todae really tired...anyway when i came home the first thing i do was sleep sleep sleep and still sleep...nvr even bath LOLX...anyway goin out ltr...maybe playing pool or something...tat all for now hahax...enjoy everyone...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

hmm havent been blogging lately...tat is becoz i havent been feeling well...hmm seem like my body is giving way le...oh man this is so sian...o lvl ending le...mean the end of the school day...haiz sad...hoping to clear every single doubts i am having...oh man hope tat u will giv me a chance to clear those doubts...anyway wont been blogging anytime soon ba...anyway if anyone lookin for me jus flood my phone...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-10T01:19:00.000+08:00

hmm jus pass 1am...feeling bored from things happening around me so i decided to come and blog...hmmm had my geog paper 2 todae...kinda relieve after thinking of it...the question were like santa claus...giving away marks...lolx...the question were alot like infernce question...but anyway i am kinda worried bout my ur A math...now i finally know y 'You' feel tat way during ur preparation for math le...todae i felt the same way as 'You' did...my mind was so tired so hard to think so hard to concentrate...oh man frustrating for such thing to happen at this point of time...but anyway needa slp early coz math needa think then cannot afford to feel sleepy if not cannot think...gonna go slp now...expecting mx tmr at my hse at around 8 lolx...then wen rui coming over at a ltr time...needed help so i decided to approach him...anyway thx to all for helping me in my revision for my o's...especially nigel for spending the whole afternoon 2 daes ago teaching me my phy...anyway nites to all...

Anyway i suddenly felt like saiding this...MY FAVOURITE NUMBER IS 17 HAHAX...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-09T02:01:00.000+08:00

hmm almost 2 in the morning now...sian todae paper is geog...seriously dislike this subj...but bo bian still havda chiong...anyway had my english p1 n p2 n phy ytd...oh boy was the phy hard...the question were so indirect...a question of radiation took me a hr of thinking before i realise the answer was the one tat was most obvious yet unknown if nvr study bout it...but anyway seriously mus thx nigel they all...specially took time off to teach me my phy...well i wasnt exactly a good student as i got alot of things dunno...but thx to their teaching i earn bout 8-10 points...so shiok the feeling...first time do sci do until like this...as for english the p1 was like damn scary...section A all the question so funny de...didnt know wat to write...so i made up the lamest story possible lolx...as for p2 the question was much more easier than i had expected it...the question were veri direct and most answer could be found in the passage...but anyway come to think of it my phy also veri funny...electromagnetic spectrum...this was something i didnt even know of...sian marks gone liao...can anyone tell me jus wat is tat spectrum thingy...so confusing...although phy over le but still wanna know wat it is...but tat bout all...gotta get some slp and wake up early tmr to chiong for geog agn...zzzz...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

it is 1am in the morning now...nth much to do...but mugging real hard for my comb phy...jus finish my phy rev...haiz sian...tmr got eng p1 n p2 n phy at a ltr time...but anyway tat is all for me to worried for tmr...slept at 2 am ytd so todae was quite a tiring day for me...but anyway got woke up a few time...ard 6 in the morning my house phone rang...and the phone was like a 10min walk away from me lolx...but anyway got up and answer the phone...bad start of the day for me hahax...my dad was veri mad at me for some reason...started venting his frustration at me rite at the veri moment i answer the call...zzz...then after tat nigel mao xin n jj call me...said tat they r goin to hougang mall and wanted me to join them there...but as i was veri tired i kindly decline them...but anyway bout 10min ltr they call me again...but tis time i wasnt angry at all hahax...they said tat 'she' was at hm too...so without even eating my breakfast i rush over to hm...well cant blame me...school days r almost over n i dun hav much time left to c her...so i am grabbing any chances possible to c her...but although it was jus a few glimpse i was happy enough liao...anyway after tat went to chiong pool again...hmm jus realise play pool mus hav a calm mind cannot joke ard if not sure lose hahax...then after tat wen rui n jj come my hse study...but jj watch anime instead hahax...stayed at my hse till bout 6.30 then we went hm again but tis time to study...chiong till 9 then chiong lan HAHAX...nvr failed to play ar me...but anyway came home n continue muggin for my phy...hmm betta go slp liao...gonna wake up at 4 tmr to study...hope i will wake up hahax...but anyway really miss her lots...hoping for a miracle tat is impossible to happen...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-04T02:50:00.000+08:00

haiz sian...still awake now...wen rui n mx at my hse...todae was a disastrous day for me...i am freaking out now...veri veri stressed veri scared of wat is goin to happen on monday...studied for 4hr for a single chapt of ss but still couldnt get anything in...not even a single word...i seriously dunno wat is wrong sia...thing r solved...shld be happ by right and shld be able to study...but somehow i couldnt concentrate...jus wat is wrong...i seriously wanna get this thing right and not hav to repeat this next yr...anyway i gonna hang on...hoping for any encouragment possible...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-03T03:10:00.000+08:00

3am in the morning now...jus reach home hahax...todae was kinda a good day for me...went to watch movie with rui nigel n mx...but me n rui watch DOA while mx n nigel watch Death Note...coz our show ended first so i went to ps with rui...rui then play initial D...then a few idiot came in...wanted to challenge rui...well they arent that pro either...almost laugh my ass off when i saw them play...but anyway after tat went pool-ing hahax...as i was in a happy mood i was on a winning strike...won bout 5 games in a row...hahax but after tat heard a song which i listen to when i am sad...then since tat song was played i nvr won a single game...sian ar...after that we had our meal at kpt at ps...wow the japanese food there is nice sia...after tat we came bac to hougang mall and hahax went pool-ing again...lolx addicted liao me...but quite nice of them to accompany me go play...ended at bout 12 then waited for the stupid bus...and it nvr came hahax...so we walk all the way to the kpt at puggol park...slack till now then come home...kinda tired and having a terrible headache now...stupid ppl smoking at the playground...then chiong taxi home...anyway not gonna slp for the next few hrs ba...veri sian leh...feel like goin out to study tmr leh...bro gonna be at home dun think cant do much thing...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-02T01:50:00.000+08:00

okie my last blog entry before i go to sleep...

Thx Rui...even though we nvr mange to chat but still it is the though that count...but anyway had quite a fun chat with erin until now...nth much happened in the past 1-2 hrs...for the pass few hrs i was like a confused soul living between heaven n hell...neither here nor there...i was really happy but sad at the same time...well i really ponder over wat jj said to me...y am i such a coward in front of her...i myself dunno y...everytime i c her i jus feel veri scared...well it is not like i wan it to...but i trying to overcome this stupid fear of mine...really hoping for the chance where i can really tok to her face to face...anyway that bout all le...jus hope i can get a good nite of rest and not wake up halfway...havent been sleeping well lately...average sleeping hour for the pass 1 week is 2 and 1/2 hrs...but jus not feeling tired at all...anyway i go slp le...

>Thank 'You'<

2006-11-01T23:56:00.000+08:00

Haiz sian...started the day quite happy...but gonna end it in a quiet and sad manner...firstly gonna wish may kee happy birthday again...todae morning went to mit jj n nigel...well nigel was late...and i was dicussing with jj to call nigel to get down of his bus n chiong cab come find us...but it was such a concidence that nigel really did chiong cab come find us...then the 3 of us chiong like str8 to skool...but chiong or not we were still late...once we reach we immediately throw all our thing on the floor...nvr even had the time to zip my bag and put my notes bac in...can c how late we were...but anyway went str8 in and almost wanted to whack myself on the head...as soon as i went into the examination hall the chief examinar said "no one is to hav any electronic on them or they will be deem as cheating"...well i did forgot to put my hp into my bag and i started to panic...well i veri chicken de...so i decided to seek my form teacher help...asked him to help me keep my hp...well he veri steady de agree to help me keep till after the exam...after the exam i went slackin at mall with nigel n mx...i had my breakfast a disastrous one...ate too fast n choked on my food...almost vomitted the whole thing out...then went to get a lemon tea large at mac...oh boy was i thristy or crazy...i finish the whole drink in matter of seconds lolx...but anyway we went pool-ing again...as usual...but anyway came home after tat and slacked till now...hmm gonna end this entry here...ltr before i go sleep then blog again ba...needa get my mood bac...seriously...

>Black represent saddness to me...<

>Thank 'You'<

>Seriously need a listening ear now...Really feel lyk cryin...<

2006-11-01T04:41:00.000+08:00

finally woke up le...late for 30min hahax...anyway goin to study bio now...blog ltr hahax...

2006-11-01T00:39:00.000+08:00

haiz sian...spent the whole of 31st Oct at home...but not play but jus to study for my bio waaaa....planned to finish it on the 30th but end up sleeping on the floor in my living room lolx...back hurts...but anyway shld said it was a disastrous day for me...still couldnt get inheritance rite...5 str8 daes le still cant get it...y ar...diaoz diaoz diaoz...haiz in less than 8 hrs will be my bio le...scared ar...after wat happen in my prelim i learnt that effort doesnt pay off...so scared tat this time luck wont be by my side...10% of luck...lady of luck plz come visit me tmr ar...hahax me goin crazy le...anyway tat is all tat happened...hahax boring me...gonna end here...needa get some slp then wake up bout 4 tmr to do a last round of revision...good luck to all...

>Happy Birthday to May Kee<

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

2006-10-31T00:03:00.000+08:00

had my olvl chinese retake todae...kinda tiring sia...slept at 1 then woke up at 2.30...slept for 1hr30min only damn sleepy...while doin the paper i almost fell asleep...was simply too tired to stay awake...but anyway not really a nice day for me...hmm you seem to hav loss weight...mus take care ar...o lvl important but ur health is even more important...remember to take care okies...wanted to chiong the last part of bio todae de but simply too tired to finish it...so i guess i gonna get some sleep and maybe wake up at 4 tmr to finish it up...guess tat bout all...

>To You:Take good care of yourself...dun stress urself too much... :) <

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

2006-10-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

haix sian tmr start my o lvl...veri scared i mus said hahax...but anyway start with chinese which i got a 4 previously so i will said i am able to accept any thing tat goes terribly wrong tmr hahax...but anyway mugging hard...nvr did i mug so hard for anything...but anyway todae started my revision of bio at 4 in the morning but sad to said fell asleep at bout 6...dunno y everytime do bio sure slp de...zzz...hmm mus try to over come this le...bio is on tis wed...stupid timing...y dun early or later by 1 day then good...hahax but anyway trying to get into a jc no matter wat other think bout me...

>Happy Birthday Pei Wen<

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

2006-10-27T00:23:00.000+08:00

Another early blog entry....

Todae was a veri tiring day...woke up at 8 todae...so late...then slack till 1 something before i went to mit my shifu, jin hock...had alot of problem so had to call him out de...so ps sia call him out at such a period of time...but anyway he was damn quick in solving almost 40 question which i didnt know how to do...hahax thx lots sia...then after that came nigel mao xin n jun jie...slack awhile at mall mac hahax...then saw pei wen walking pass hahax...then waited for wen rui to come...after that had our lunch at around 3 something...hmm shldnt be doing tat as i hav been having some problem with my gastric...but anyway had a few round of race lolx...after that wen rui accompany me to bugis to look for present...but only manage to find 1 thing so had to run to raffle...hahax but walk around a few time and onli got 1 thing hahax...now we went to city hall...finally found the veri last thing i was lookin for...wow wat a walk we had hahax...so tiring and my knee cap is still giving me trouble...but anyway at around 9 we went to mit nigel n mao xin for pool hahax then play all the way till now so tiring...hmm mus get some slp ar tmr morning mus wake up at 8 to prepare for tution(intensive)...waaa sian next week having o lvl le..hope tat u will wish me luck...but anyway tat bout all...

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

2006-10-26T00:29:00.000+08:00

Gonna blog early todae then get some slp if possible...

I seriously dunno wat is goin on anymore...i seriously wanna know...can u plz tell me...u can scream shout slap or whack me i dun mind...but plz dun treat me this way...i really cant take it anymore...i am veri veri confused n sad now...dunno wat to said anymore...guess that is it...but still holding on to hopes of salvaging this friendship...

>5min34sec<

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

2006-10-25T05:01:00.000+08:00

hmm it is around 5am now slept for only about 4 hr...but not abit tired...maybe is used to it le ba...haiz feeling veri loss now...keep thinking of the unhappy things tat has been goin on recently...is there anyone that is willing to listen to me grumble...guess not...o lvl coming le all buzy with their revision...cant blame them also...hmm i gonna bury myself in my book again...anyway nth much to do...

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

2006-10-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

Jus pass 1am...havent slp yet...my lifestyle hav change so much...much more quiet now...not veri use to it...but anyway gonna hav to adapt to it sooner or later...anyway got math test ltr...sian ar still havda go to skool 8.30 somemore...stupid time...hmm mus go get some slp now if not cannot wake up tmr ar...guess tat all i havda said...nth much nth more....

>16min48sec<

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

2006-10-23T03:00:00.000+08:00

it is around 3 in the morning now...havent slp yet...had a real tiring day...ytd slept for bout 3 hrs only hahax...stayed up not to study but to watch my idol race for the very last time in his favourite track hahax...lame rite hahax but mus support my idol no matter wat...well 4th place okie la after all that had happen...well good race for him...tat is the only interesting thing tat happen to me todae...

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

2006-10-20T01:23:00.000+08:00

hmm had my o lvl pract...kinda badly done...bio part feel tat everything is wrong sian...hmm i manage to pick up my mood...hope nth goes wrong for me anymore...i really breaking down le...really cant take anymore blow le...

>Still waiting for you to forgive me<

>1hr25min8sec<

2006-10-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

Good luck to all having practical...Jia you...

2006-10-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

todae was a quiet day for me...totally nth interesting happen...woke up at 2.48 todae hahax remembered exactly...first time slp so long...dunno y maybe jus tired ba...but anyway slack through the whole day...still no mood to start studying...sian tmr got tution(intensive) sure to fall asleep halfway hahax...hope i do not do so...tat bout all hahax...

>1min19sec<

Still waiting for you to forgive me...

2006-10-17T00:15:00.000+08:00

todae was a quite a pleasant day for me...manage to cheer myself up abit...hahax quite afew thing tat i used to cheer myself up hahax...but anyway todae i went pooling again as usual hahax...but todae was to celebrate nigel birthday...but quite tiring hahax...after tat we went slackin around hougang hahax...then came home ard 12 hahax...not much has been happening lately...so havent been blogging...but anyway trying to pick up my mood hahax...sry all my friends but i seriously need some more time...

Oh ya one more thing i wanna add...i know sometime ppl ard me are jus joking but plz nvr ever joke bout liking someone...maybe i am jus over-sensitive over such thing but i really cant take such jokes and i might nvr ever be able to accept such jokes...sry guys but i really get upset over such jokes even though i know u all dun mean any harm at all...sry sry sry...

Happy Birthday to Leyi and Nigel...

2006-10-13T12:50:00.000+08:00

jus reach home...not becoz i went out early in the morning but becoz i wasnt even at home this morning...spend the whole nite with nigel jun jie mao xin n alex's bro hahax...stay out for the whole nite damn fun...thx nigel for letting me vent my frustration on u...this guy veri steady de okie...knew tat i was feeling down so he went to borrow a soccer ball...hahax poor guy got rammed by me times n again...had a real nice time at the street soccer court...then after that jun jie they all came to join us...then we play big net 2 all the way till this morning hahax...time sure fly...like tat and almost 10 hr is gone...boring day for me...no skool haiz...feel like goin bac to the pass where nth is goin wrong for me...but anyway it is impossible and i jus havda overcome these probs...and thx mdm cheah for being so understanding and not blaming me for not being able to achieve the goals she set for me...i promise u i will do my best during the o's....

2006-10-12T13:49:00.000+08:00

haiz sian graduation day le...4yr ago was still telling other that graduation was still long but guess i was wrong...it is todae...really mix emotion for me...happy to leave skool but sad to leave someones...hmm firstly it is someone i love...it has been 523 days since i first got to know u...i also nvr regret knowing u...but since tis day has come i wish u a good luck in ur o lvl and stay happy forever...then second come a person whom i really dote on...been friend with her for 4 yrs...i nvr regret wat i did for u and i dun hope for any return...i jus hope tat u will forgive me for the wrong doing i did...i am sorry...frustration set in on me...dunno wat to do...look at my hand 'nice' pattern...done by me...although it look kinda messy but it has a meaning if u look properly...okie gonna end here...meeting my classmate for bball games then maybe join my friend for pool...oh ya ps ar ppl ps u all...but i promise my skoolmates first...but hope to join u guys ltr...

2006-10-11T17:20:00.000+08:00

haiz sad ar...still thinking of ytd...while playing pool half way i felt my hp vibrate and was thinking if it was she replying me...well it was a happy moment for me as i though that there was hope of mending the friendship...but guess i was wrong...when i read the content i broke into tear...i really cried...for wat i myself dun even know...i really care bout u does this mean nth to u...ppl around me keep said that me waiting for her to forgive me is a waste of my time...but i refuse to listen to them...i keep telling myself tat there was still hope and that she is jus stressed out by all the pressure she is under...i keep telling myself that but whenever i look at my hp i feel like crying again...oh man boy crying sure got ppl wanna laugh at me liao...but nvm who care how they look at me...but even though u made me so sad i still treat u as someone close to me...and hoping for u to forgive me whether it is 1 wk or 1 mnth i will still wait...

-Please forgive me-

2006-10-11T00:58:00.000+08:00

hmm jus finish playing pool...thx nigel jun jie n winston for being my listening hear...frustrating day...someone stupid made me damn angry...she is angry at me when i dun even know wat happen and she doesnt even wanna giv me a explanation...but nvm jus havda blame myself...so wat if ur result is good it doesnt concern me...really feeling veri sad now...if only i had some beer then can numb myself and escape from reality...zzzz real sleepy now havent been sleeping well for the last few day time to giv my body n mind a rest...but still i am waiting for the answer from u...i really dun wanna giv up this relationship...if u feel tat tis relationship is nth to u i hope tat we can still be friend...

2006-10-08T01:22:00.000+08:00

Plz take care of yourselves...(forgive me plz)...

2006-10-07T00:43:00.000+08:00

jus reach home after staying out for almost the whole day...tiring day for me...went to study with nigel and mao xin at hougang mall mac...then after tat went to play pool until bout 12...still trying to find out the answer to a simple question tat has been bothering me for days...if u r reading my blog plz forgive me plz...if i made u angry by accident plz tell me i will make up for it de...

2006-10-05T01:03:00.000+08:00

haiz sad ar...it has been one whole week since tis whole thing started...all becoz of my temper and my emotion at that point of time...last wk was an eventful week...thing around me are changing so fast really wanna hav a break...i am mentally veri tired but i continue to wish for her forgiving me...but now i am confuse...was my action the reason or wat...or is there something tat i dunno...plz tell me can...i really dunno wat to do now...lots of setback and emotional thing goin on now...first my friend lost his job...then a friend's 4-5 yrs of relationship with his stead gonna go down the drain soon...and then i had to receive my result and some comment from my form teacher...he said i nvr put in effort and worse of all even my tution teacher said i nvr put in effort...was my 4mnth of effort worthless??i sacrifice my weekend jus to study...when friend jio me go out i rejected them...was all tis effort to strive hard for tis prelim worth only tis kind of comment...i really wanna giv up le...but when i am feeling the lowest an sms from her would cheer me up and giv me hope...but y did tis happen...she told me tat nth was wrong jus tat i was over sensitive...but her facial expression gav her away...i didnt wanna think bout it but it kept coming to my mind...does she even treat me as a friend anymore??all i wan now is a simple answer...yes or no...my world is like a nightmare to me now...friend always know me as a happy go lucky guy but seems like u all havda change ur opinion of me...over the yrs i hav change if u all did notice...now i hav learnt to take thing seriously but it hurt alot...now and then when i tok to her she keep ignoring me although she is not my gf but i felt hurt...i mean who will not feel hurt when someone u trust so much is ignoring u from now on...a death sentence was dealt on me and i wasnt even given a trial...i didnt even know wat has happen tat resulted in the situation now...i keep telling myself she is jus stress over her result but as day go by my friend keep telling me to stop lying to myself...how i wish i could...but i am too afraid to get hurt anymore...plz gurl can u jus giv me a chance to find out wat is wrong and make up for it...at tis point of time i feel like we r strangers...not even friend anymore...i dun wan the few yrs of friendship to end jus like tis wo bu gan yuan...every effort i am putting in now is worthless if u dun wanna giv me a chance...all i am asking now is for u to forgive me or jus answer a simple question tat has been bothering me for the whole week...

2006-10-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

it is ard 1 in the morning now...still feeling down...until now i am still waiting for a answer from her...i really hoping for a answer...if i really make u angry i apologise to u...plz plz forgive me...i am willing to do anything to earn ur forgiveness...i beg u to forgive me...

2006-09-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

It is ard 1.30 in the morning...a veri sad day ytd for me...still unable to figure some things out...at this moment i am still waiting for this simple sms that would clear every single doubts i am having now...if i really make u angry i apologise to u...hope u will forgive me...

2006-09-29T01:52:00.000+08:00

haiz...now i really am confused n regretting wat i did todae...so sry to u if u even did notice something was wrong...really didnt mean to do it though...i was jus confused and wasnt in the right state of mind...was really angry as u didnt do wat u said...but then again after chatting with my shifu i realise tat wat i did was wrong...i shldnt and did not hav the right in interfering with ur rights to make friends...although i hate that person i shldnt hav been angry at u for toking to him...after few hrs of waiting i finally got my thoughs straighten out...if u did notice it i will apologise to u personally...i didnt mean to be that way...plz forgive me...sry sry sry sry sry sry sry sry sry sry sry...

2006-09-26T18:25:00.000+08:00

hmm was veri angry todae...still angry thou...some ppl ar wanna act but scared...i mean like wat is this u wanna brg ur phone then u scared kanna confiscated then y brg in the first place...if u wanna brg then keep it urself dun call ppl help u keep and get them into trouble u selfish moron...jus remember u told me during the prelim tat the poa n emath paper was easy...but u failed both sub...11.5marks difference wat hav u got to said..guess tat would be nth...hahax i really wanna laugh my a** off sia...hope u see this entry coz i got a advice for u and tat is dun try to act like u r popular coz it only make u look stupid...but anyway u r stupid a**h*le...

2006-09-26T18:14:00.000+08:00

oh man my head hurt so much...dunno wat wrong with me todae...was still fine before recess ...but anyway slept in skool todae and felt abit betta...hmm failed my poa...f9 for the first time...sad veri veri sad...hoping to make a improvment as soon as possible...but after this prelim i really feel like giving up le...all my effort all gone down the drain...damn sian then mus thx my cher for giving me 'advice'...anyway mei forget bout the prelim jus tink of the o's okie =)...take care...

2006-09-24T22:10:00.000+08:00

*yawn...feeling veri tired now...for some reason i woke up early todae morning bout 8 something...then decided to get my computer parts...ran all the way to sim lim...then though tat all was well but guess i was wrong...been trying to fix my computer since 2 in the afternoon...till now my computer is still dead...sianz...nvm tmr cousin coming to help me with it...tmr will be a betta day hahax...

2006-09-24T00:26:00.000+08:00

jus came home from bbq...saw alvin there too hahax...had quite a nice time there...but if something had change it would hav been a better time for me...but anyway still not bad...dinner was a 'good' one lolx only had a sausage...but anyway had supper at 11 something and it was good hahax...had lamb chop otah sausage and lot more hahax...but anyway tat bout all that happen todae...oh ya cheer up ar mei :)...

2006-09-20T18:54:00.000+08:00

todae was the first day after prelim...a day filled with nth but saddness...got bac some of them result...english n bio math not really counted as got bac...hmmm english i mus said i was veri lucky to be able to pass...25/50 damn lucky...as for bio haiz big disappointment only got 16/55 scary...but anyway cant blame anyone jus hav myself to blame...as for math not really get bac as my cher onli told me i pass my p1...glad though able to pass p1 as p2 sure gone case with 37marks blank dang...haiz then know tat my mei cry...all thank to me for giving her lousy advice...sry mei didnt mean to...mus cheer up ar...:)